I haven’t written since August last year. So much has happened in life that writing this just went off my list. But for some of the time I kept a handwritten journal, although in the grimmest weeks that stopped too. So I will reproduce some of it here to get you all back on track with me.
4th October 2019
Woke up feeling very tired which has remained with me all day. We did the shopping and I took books and stuff I have been clearing (and have been living in piles in the corridor) off to charity shops. I feel that I am beginning to find life a bit overwhelming:
- job situation continues to be wobbly
- my back has been painful
- short of money this month
- so many outgoings
It’s that home/work/health balance and the bottom line is money. It struck me today that I’m clearing out because I have so much stuff around the flat – in cupboards, under the bed, on top of drawers, filling up the box room. I need to get the box room cleared to get my teaching files in there, as they are lying on the floor.
But of course the root of all this is worry about Mum and Dad, and the upheaval we’ve been through having the windows replaced and the flooring re-done. I can’t/don’t want to think about anything in the future as I’m in the middle of so much.
Then I’ve got the stupid cow making my life so difficult at work.
On the upside went into Foyles and bought Sarah Perry’s Melmoth and Kate Atkinson’s Transcription with the money Mum and Dad sent me.
Upshot – I need to talk instead of bottling up all these feelings so they turn into resentments and then anger.
Mer says:
I’m just happy to see you post since you know I don’t do Facebook nor other social media any longer so I never know what is going on with friends and family (since everyone seems to only live through Facebook posts!)
My Christmas card to you in December came back return to sender – so I’ve been hoping you are fine. I see you are alive. I’m glad for that. Hang in there. Hugs from afar.
10 February, 2020 — 18:00
MrBert says:
I did reply to your email….eventually! x
22 February, 2020 — 17:49
David says:
It is wonderful to hear from you, see you soon.
10 February, 2020 — 23:43
Andrea Small says:
Nice to see you back. Horrible that the grim things pile up – it’s no wonder your back was hurting. xx
11 February, 2020 — 15:15